island

paradise lost

CLUTTER !

Emptied the clutter from my pockets and all this art fell out.
Actually I kicked ass with this piece a while ago but brought it
back with more lens flare. kapow!

-Large Art

Memories

All my memories as a kid were of Bruce Lee movies. Wattaaaaa! aaa!

LARGE ART - returns

Yes! I am back from my epic sail around the world. Set out one year ago from the port of Sweet Pudding on the horn of Southern most Taco Island in the raging torrents and spiraling eddies of the Great Pacific Gyre. My great ship the Large-O, handled beautifully through current, swells and winds of the high seas. But then we hit bad weather on the open Atlantic and I had to give up Large-O to the waves and cling to an empty handy wipe canister bobbing in that cold ocean foam.
I washed ashore at Coney Island in triumph as a swarm of news helicopters highlighted my fantastic return.

Super Warp Phone

On the way home I saw all these fools out in front of the Apple store waiting to buy new phones. Thing was that more than half of them were killing the time with their noses to the screens of their existing, perfectly functional phones. I thought shit, I’ll go home and make my own damn “iPhone” and then call all you suckers down in line at like 3am in the fucking morning and yell “FIVE HOURS LEFT DUDE!” They’ll get a kick out of it I’m sure. Better yet I'll make a warp phone and jump to the front of the line at the last second.

Sour!

Just a little something I cooked up on Illustration Friday. I've got to keep my skills sharp enough to slice through a tin can just by looking at it.

Illustration Friday: Fierce!

This word, FIERCE! is a word that I live every day of my life. It was not hard to create this image, though it may look as if it was.

PETE STICKS: Back From Iraq! Part 1

So I've been in Iraq for the last year at least, maybe longer. That's why I haven't posted any cool art recently. I wasn't in the army you see, because I couldn't get accepted. When I applied they did some tests and stuff but I failed them all. I failed the physical by a long shot, they said I was almost legally blind and that they had seen better hearing in an 80 year old man. The mental evaluation didn't go well either. It showed me to be not only a paranoid-schizophrenic with multiple personality disorder but also highly unstable with a extremely powerful, fully automatic weapon. I pointed out that this could be my greatest asset to them but they said that I was a danger to myself and could not be trusted around other soldiers. Assholes.
Then I put on the sweet talk and tried a different angle. I said that I loved George Bush and uncle Sam more than I loved my own mother and the awesome state of Arkansas. But they weren't too impressed by this. I said that I could be the army's sketch artist and I showed them this blog, but they told me that they had no need for an artist of my, caliber. I left the recruiting office feeling sorry for those losers. I was going to Iraq anyway and I didn't even have to sign no stinkin' papers.
I decided to stow away on a United States nuclear submarine leaving NY for the great Atlantic and beyond, to Iraq! It was time for a piece of the action, PETE STICKS STYLE. I was going to see some real shit and I didn't even know it yet...

(to be continued)

signs

Saw this movie called signs and it was great. It didn't make much sense at all, but it was full of art.
Like the water in the cup. It was the water all along that the aliens didn't want even though they came to the only planet in our solar system that has loads of water. Hmmm. I don't know?

Still Life with Citrus

Thank you Illustration Friday. Citrus is exactly
what this remarkable painting needed to make
it even better. Thank You. Thank You.

Still Life

I finally finished my latest still life painting. It was a race against time as the fruit began to ferment and sag. The fruit flies swarmed so thick it was nearly impossible to see though the writhing mass to see the subject. I think I really captured the essence of the fruit and if you look closely you will see a highlight on every single grape. That is no accident, it is pure skill.

Nerd Fight

Shake up a pack of Nerds and
pour them out and you might
get a brutal nerd fight!

Illustration Friday: Kermit the Frog In Front Of A GREEN Screen

The latest Muppets movie called "Muppets: The Undiscovered Phantom Nemesis Revenge On Fozzie" has tapped "Star Wars" butcher George Lucas to direct. After almost choking himself on his 8th chin Mr. Lucas was heard to say " OOna Wonkie, Gonzo" which means "We're shooting this shit all in digital"

The above pic is of star "Kermit The Frog" on his first day of shooting on set..The set will be the Muppet Theatre but it will be all CG...Also Janice in Dr. Teeth's band is going to be replaced by "Sny Snootles"...And They are going to digitally bring back John Denver from the dead, for the role of "Pilot #6"

Editors Note: if you got half of the references in the above story, you'll be at home this weekend...Unlike me, because I am a celebrity artist...I'll be signing my pieces at "Uncle's Games" at the mall if you need something to do.

Illustration Friday: Total Gym / Total Annihilation!

Today's Illustration Friday topic was "TOTAL" so, I was up late last night trying to get together some inspiration and up popped an infomercial about Total Gym.

Now the first thing I see is exercise, so I almost changed the channel, but then one of my all time gods Chuck Norris came on the television and I started watching. But then some shaved chested punk all greased up tries to show up Chuck and steal his spotlight by upping the intensity on the little torture device..And he gives CHuck this look like " Yeah, top this"...This young punk had no idea that this dude fought Bruce Lee in one of the Chambers of Death BITCH!

So I watched and waited, for Chuck to kick the dude's head clean off, like he did that one guy in "Delta Force", but it never happened...But I know he wanted to.

Midget Walk ANIMATION, Beatchezzz

Yeah, so I was watching this video about these "Nine Old farts" that worked at Disney and they were talkin like animation was like inventing time travel or something. They said it was all " hard to capture the illusion of life" or something. So I figured I drive better than a bunch of old guys, I must be able to animate better!

So here is my first animation, and it was of my "Midget Walk" cycle I did way back in the day..I know if Walt's body wasn't frozen, he'd be at my doorstep offering my huge money to work for him.

Another Illustration Friday: topic; 80's

Eight E's.
Need I Say More.